Teacup Café XLII

[Earniel]

Nightmares are never fun. Neither is insomnia.

Still, doesn't one kinda exclude the other?

Lets hope the next visit from the sandman goes better.

[Noble Elf Lord]

Originally Posted by Mari

Nightmares aren't good. Do they have a cause?
Started first day of school here as well. My new kiddies are adorable, but exhausting.

(Apologies in advance for the rant...)

I presume it's post-divorce- stress, had at least 3 nightmares with my ex in them. I can't quite explain how mad I was when I realised she'd been pretending and lying... Hating someone with so much passion eats you alive. So I've been trying to let go of the hate. Any tips on that?

Tomorrow I mean to return the gifts she once gave me.

Eärn, the insomnia is like not falling asleep, and waking up way too early. The 'mares come in between... But thanks buddies

[tolkienfan]

I experienced nightmare-induced insomnia for a year or so in middle school. Not sure what the cause was - there wasn't any major trauma in my life, but I did experience a lot of anxiety on a daily basis (I don't know if the nightmares caused the anxiety or vice versa). I eventually found that making time dedicated for prayer and meditation just before going to bed helped immensely. I know it can be rough and make an impact on your day-to-day life Hang in there and good luck getting through it

[Noble Elf Lord]

tolkienfan, it might have been a vicious circle. Nightmare - anxiety - nightmare - anxiety....

Praying's out of question, as I'm a devoted atheist. But meditation might be good, if I somehow manage it. My thoughts never calm down well, regardless of how good I feel. Thank you!

[Earniel]

Originally Posted by Noble Elf Lord

Eärn, the insomnia is like not falling asleep, and waking up way too early. The 'mares come in between... But thanks buddies

Worst of both worlds, I see. That must suck. It might help to relax a little before going to bed. I often have nightmares when I'm stressed, especially right before bed time.

I usually get far by refocussing on something else when falling asleep and trying not to think of the issues then. Sometimes I listen to soft music and think of pretty places. I used to replay scenes from LoTR in my mind, although since the movies the visuals get mixed up and I've mainly switched to my own story-plotting. I like to work out stories a lot before I write them down and falling asleep has proven excellent for that. And while I'm working out how how to get from scene A to B, or what character X will say to Y, my mind's off the problems and I sleep a lot better.

The downside is that you seldom remember just where you were when you fall asleep to so you do retread a lot of ground the next evening, and if you've solved a particularly prickly plot-point you may not remember it entirely the next day. There is one character that I remember I've found the perfect name for him late at night, but alas, I don't remember what it was. But I don't mind that too much, it means I will always have something to think about other than problems.

I won't pretend this might help you too, but I don't think you can go far wrong with thinking happy -or at least more constructive- thoughts before falling asleep.

[Midge]

Baby update: Doc wants me to have the baby this week. Looks like I'll be induced tomorrow or the day after, depending on the schedule of the Labor and Delivery department this week.

It's a bit like being shoved off the high dive instead of jumping on your own. But we're excited to have the little guy here, finally.

He didn't make it to the Party Day, though. That would have been pretty cool.

[Rían]

Keep up updated as you're able That's so exciting!

I'm sure the doc has a good reason for inducing, and it's good to be safe instead of have a more complicated delivery.

Looking forward to your update! and remember, pain relief is your friend! (at least IMHO ) I think it lets you enjoy the whole experience much better. If you're OK with it, don't be afraid to ask for it! I've been both routes and I really recommend pain relief when the labor gets more difficult.

[Mari]

Good heavens, yes. I don't know why in the Netherlands they're so focussed on natural birth bla bla. Presumably it's better for the child, but I tend to faint when I get even a minor scratch, so... >_< Anyway, kee us informed!

Noble: if your hate and upset over the situation with your ex is causing the nightmares, can't you try to shift your focus on your relationship to a different angle? Trying to remember the good times might help to lessen the hate, or thinking of reasons other than the betrayal why it wouldn't have worked anyway. Or try to shift your focus completely away from the relationship to something else like your future/work/whatever?

Good luck in any case!

[Noble Elf Lord]

Well, it's snowing here... howbout others?
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Thanks, Mari. It's just that I'm rather - English has apparently no better word than "unforgiving" although that's slightly over the top in my case. In Finnish we have a word that's best translated as "angry for a long time". I'd feel like I'm cheating myself if I think about the happy times. I'm trying to think about other stuff and feel pity rather than hate. It'll pass...
The general feeling of this is pretty good:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR0k...fcuVKKDcEEaY_A

[Mari]

You could also decide to just forgive, but not forget. Isn't the best way to get "revenge" to live well? Surely better than making yourself unhappy. It's not like things will change if you do. But it's up to you.

[Midge]

Hey, guys! Just an update: Our son was born on Sept 11. He's just over two weeks old now.

Exactly now, at the moment of posting, it's 5 a.m. (been up since around 2:30ish) and he's screaming and crying. *sigh* The joys of parenthood.

He's extremely cute, though. This is a picture of him shortly after his birth. He's put on some weight since then. I love all his many facial expressions!

[Varnafindë]

Congratulations, Midge!

[tolkienfan]

What a cutie! Congrats!

[Acalewia]

Congrats, Midge!

[Valandil]

Originally Posted by Midge

Hey, guys! Just an update: Our son was born on Sept 11. He's just over two weeks old now.

Exactly now, at the moment of posting, it's 5 a.m. (been up since around 2:30ish) and he's screaming and crying. *sigh* The joys of parenthood.

He's extremely cute, though. This is a picture of him shortly after his birth. He's put on some weight since then. I love all his many facial expressions!

Congratulations!!!

[Noble Elf Lord]

All the best to you and yours, Midge

[Midge]

Thanks so much, guys! We are excited to see him grow up! In the meantime, don't worry. I'll make sure he knows LOTR.

On another note: I have some cousins who have jumped (with both feet) into the Hobbit/LOTR fan club. So when their parents told them his name (Barlow), they heard Balin and decided that was what they would call him.

It's not a terrible nickname, although a slightly more appropriate LOTR-themed nickname would be "Barley", as in short for Barliman, as in the proprietor of a fine establishment in Bree.

[Earniel]

Congrats, Midge! He looks like a sweetie (vocal sweetie, likely, but still a sweetie. )

Phew, I think that was about my longest absence apart from holidays. Life threw a brick at me and I forgot to duck. Did I miss much?

[Mari]

Wow, what a cute little human! Congrats, Midge

Earn, I hope the bruising is fading?

[Butterbeer]

Bricks.. Ducks... and Bruising,
Eärniel ? ? ? ?



The Mind Boggles!
Anyways - Ducks aren't really all that efficient at deflecting bricks: next time life hurls bricks- take evasive measures: (See below graphic for advanced techniques to silmutaneously avoid both low flying bricks and head-height bricks)



So what on Middle earth has been happening??

oh btw- Grats to Midge